The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
