Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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