I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize