Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
