I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
