No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
