im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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