Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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