GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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