put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
