Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
