then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
