Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
