# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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