so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
