i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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