can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
