We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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