Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
