the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
