i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
