she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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