names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
