You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
