I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
