I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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