she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize