Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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