just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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