guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
