weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
