The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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