you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
