don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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