We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Randomize
