Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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