i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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