YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize