dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
