eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
