All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
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