She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
