White coat. Heels.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
