The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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