I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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