I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
