this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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