im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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