Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she peed on how many people?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
