Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
