just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
