How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
