So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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