I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
