yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
