you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
