I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
