If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I love you.
Bad choice
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
