my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
