I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
