At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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