yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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