Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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