This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize