She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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