Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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