Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize